bah humbug :)

since i am infamous for hating christmas, i decided that after having a wonderful one, i ought to write about it. :) one of my resolutions is to write about the good stuff in this blog so that i can go back and look at it later.

christmas wasn't so bad this year. i did the whole family function thing, basically i socialized a little and drank a lot of wine. i came home and immediately changed into my pajamas, and began IMing adrie and senyee. eventually all three of us were telling each other about some tough stuff we were going through at home. adrie said, "im bored, restless, and its still really early. i want to go out but nothings open" and i said "lets find a diner or something, we need to get out of here" and we convinced senyee to come too. adrie sprang into the car, and picked us both up, and we headed to Dennys for an overextended late night second dinner. it was glorious, we talked and laughed and chilled out for a few hours, eating dark chocolate truffles in celebration of us hating the holidays, and generally unwinding and enjoying each others company. adrie and i were still in our pajamas. eventually, i came home and bounded upstairs, unable to stop smiling.

just that few hours with my friends really relaxed me and made everything ok again. it reminded me of a conversation that brian, jon, adrie, senyee and i had while we were in the hot tub on the ski trip. adrie senyee and i found our true friends in each other in high school, whereas traditionally, people connect with each other in a meaningful way at college. my high school experience with these girls was... let's say, less than traditional. we had crazy, crazy times in high school and we were always there for each other. some people dont find long lasting friendships until college, but we have each other and i feel like we always will.

at school, i feel i have no time at all for me. at home, i have nothing but time. time to reflect on home, family, my brother, my mom, etc. i have been doing my best to escape home since junior year of high school, and i am continuing to do that by going on trips i cant afford, with people who are trying to escape just the way i am. its incredibly comforting to be able to rely on someone to randomly decide to spend a few hours talking at dennys on christmas night when the holidays were getting me down. to have two people to share that with is truly a blessing. i have had quite a few lows in my life. and instead of abandoning me because i was a shitshow, my friends hunkered down and picked me up, stayed by me, and sweated out all of my destruction. i hurt them. i have been hurt by them. and the beauty is that somehow we realize that sometimes we all hurt each other because they are hurting too. and thats ok somehow.

......wow. this post got way more emotional than i expected. basically, this christmas was the best one ive had in a few years. and my friends made it happen for me. and im eternally thankful to have them in my life.

heres to my weird friends who really get me....