Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
favorite words
backstage, during philadelphia story, we were talking about our favorite words. i just thought of another one that i really really like; macabre. i dont know why, but i think it reveals a lot about my personality. i like it because its spelled not the way its said, so if you learned it by hearing it, you wouldnt know how to spell it, and if u learned it while reading it, you wouldnt know how to say it. plus i like the meaning of it too. i guess im just weird.
so glad the semester's winding down. not looking forward to going home, but im just sick of so much bullshit thats going on. like school for example. entirely done with school. speaking of which, i totally have a 7-10 page paper due tomorrow. its not done. i started it though. i've suddenly felt so over school. i mean, what does it really mean in the long term run of things? we're just paying a whole lot of money to play along in some huge constructed game of life. the most important things in life - love, family, things like that - have very little to do with succeeding in school at all. in fact, these things interfere with school so frequently.
unfortunately, im feeling so much better about life in general. i say its unfortunate because its nicely coincided with not caring about papers and projects and such. the second i begin to care about school again is the moment that my happiness disappears. isnt that what life is all about? denying ones own happiness to fulfill the expectations of someone else? yes yes. thats what our culture is teaching us.
wow im feeling so odd. its a great feeling but its a weird one. it might be bad too, since im not done my paper and its so late. eh, i seriously dont care though.
i like feeling good for once. i really got my head back on straight. theres no use getting all bogged down in the past. and theres no use in listening to anyone at all. after all, i know whats best for me all the time. and if im wrong, its ok, im only hurting myself. and i always get over everything. thats just how i am. i know whats important to me and i know what i have and what i dont. no more delusions. just purity. this is a really great feeling. i'll glad that i found it again, at least that someone had the kindness to give it back to me.
macabre..... he he he....
so glad the semester's winding down. not looking forward to going home, but im just sick of so much bullshit thats going on. like school for example. entirely done with school. speaking of which, i totally have a 7-10 page paper due tomorrow. its not done. i started it though. i've suddenly felt so over school. i mean, what does it really mean in the long term run of things? we're just paying a whole lot of money to play along in some huge constructed game of life. the most important things in life - love, family, things like that - have very little to do with succeeding in school at all. in fact, these things interfere with school so frequently.
unfortunately, im feeling so much better about life in general. i say its unfortunate because its nicely coincided with not caring about papers and projects and such. the second i begin to care about school again is the moment that my happiness disappears. isnt that what life is all about? denying ones own happiness to fulfill the expectations of someone else? yes yes. thats what our culture is teaching us.
wow im feeling so odd. its a great feeling but its a weird one. it might be bad too, since im not done my paper and its so late. eh, i seriously dont care though.
i like feeling good for once. i really got my head back on straight. theres no use getting all bogged down in the past. and theres no use in listening to anyone at all. after all, i know whats best for me all the time. and if im wrong, its ok, im only hurting myself. and i always get over everything. thats just how i am. i know whats important to me and i know what i have and what i dont. no more delusions. just purity. this is a really great feeling. i'll glad that i found it again, at least that someone had the kindness to give it back to me.
macabre..... he he he....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
